I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
