I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
