i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
