it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
4 words: hood of his car
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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