Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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