One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
