Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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