you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
