dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
