Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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