So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i came on her dog
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I will be naked everywhere
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
