No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
