Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it wasn't lemon gatorade
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
