I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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