im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
cat food counts as protein by the way
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
