You can't motorboat a personality
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just invented taco cereal.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
