he wants to bone in the snuggie
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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