FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
