i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
