well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
