haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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