If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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