wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
