Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
