I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
