i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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