Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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