she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
