Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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