First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm experimenting with sincerity
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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