all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
