If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
