Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
