nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
