I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
