Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize