is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What drink are we having for lunch?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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