He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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