pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's blow job season.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
