My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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