At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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