If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
