Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I love you. Go after that dick
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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