I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
