yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
