I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
