i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You made out with two different species that night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
