I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
