you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
