I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
