I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
